It started with a disappointing race. The details are
meaningless now; I had hoped for a five minute PR, but struggled with cramps
and a cranky hip just after halfway, and I barely managed a PR at all. I
crossed the line in tears, and fell into my FiancĂ©’s arms, heartbroken.
But then it got much, much worse. A few short hours later
those tears seemed like the silliest thing ever. And my heart would break many
more times over before the day would end.
When we left lunch, my family and I tried to board the T
near the finish line. It was closed; no one knew why. There were rumors of some
threat on the T, and we saw police car after police car drive by. Firetrucks
came too, but no ambulances, so I was comforted that perhaps no one was hurt.
As we walked up the street to another T station, my sister sent a desperate
text: “Please let me know you are alright, heard there was an explosion.” Then
the ambulances started coming. I got an email news alert simultaneously, and
when I read the headline, I crumbled to the sidewalk in a fresh set of tears.
Explosions at the finish line—no one knew why/how many hurt/what to do.
Fortunately I was able to get a few texts through to my sister and brother who
got the news out to family and friends that we were okay. My teammates started
an email chain, and quickly almost everyone responded. One teammate, unable to
get through as the cell phone towers went out, wouldn’t be heard from for a few
anxious hours. We were comforted knowing she had finished long before, and had
no reason to be near the finish anymore. We kept walking, trying to figure out
a way out of the city, and the news kept getting worse. As we tried to hail
cabs, we found out people had died. More tears were flowing, real tears for
people’s lives and limbs lost, lives forever changed.
We couldn’t make it to my parent’s car to get our bags, so
we left them behind and headed to the airport. At the airport, we saw the
footage for the first time. I struggled to watch it. I could not, and still
cannot, believe what happened. I feel ridiculous for having cried over some silly time in a
silly race. The events of yesterday quickly put that in perspective. Life,
family, and friends are so much more important. Who cares about a running race?
But that’s what makes me so angry. This race, this event, is
not offensive to anyone. It is a celebration of hard work, of hope through
adversity, of triumph over diseases and tragedies just like this one.
Spectators line the entire 26.2 mile course, standing for hours, cheering for
strangers. There is no ill will; from the starting corral to the finish line,
everyone is bonded together as they run, as if they have been friends forever.
I don’t think there is a friendier environment anywhere. Why would someone ruin
that? The runners yesterday are people who have spent years trying to qualify,
who have worked hard to become better athletes for a chance to compete at
Boston. Other runners raise millions for charities—supporting cancer research,
veterans, and victims of Newtown. The spectators yesterday are those people
that stand by their sides, giving these runners the encouragement to keep
going, to keep up the training, and to keep fighting through the whole grueling
race to the finish line. The fact
that an event like this, a celebration like this, would be targeted is unreal.
The fact that the spectators—our constant support team—took the brunt of it is
not right. A day later and safe at home, I am in shock this happened.
In the airport, we met others who shared the story of where
they had been and how fate had saved them. Two parents talked about their
daughter, how she was set to run but an injury prevented her from being on the
starting line. Instead they watched from near the finish line. They left before
the explosions, but the daughter said she would never run a marathon again, not
after this.
I’ll admit, I was thinking the same thing—even before the
day changed forever. I was selfishly moping, thinking I had spent a year
working hard to improve my marathon time and had only come away with only 30
seconds. I was thinking how hard the race was, and how I didn’t know how I’d be
able to do another one, faster. I was thinking the same thing many marathoners
think at the end of the race, how that will be the last one. Time, healed legs,
and encouraging supporters will eventually change our minds, but that’s the
important thing: we will get to make that decision ourselves, in our own time.
No terrorist should be able to take that away from us. We cannot live in fear.
We will band together, as runners always do on our way to a far off finish
line, and we will pick ourselves up and get through this together. We can’t let
these terrorists get what they want—to ruin our celebrations or crush our
spirits.
I am moved by the generosity already exhibited. The influx
of donations crashed the Red Cross’s websites, their blood banks are full,
donations are being offered from around the country in the form of food,
coffee, places to stay. The running community has always been a supportive one,
and it will continue to support us all, even when a tragedy crumbles us.
Dream big and pray for Boston,
Teal